Sunday, March 31, 2013

Tomorrow Is April

I spent about three hours in the garden today, snooping around, identifying seedlings, preparing beds, trimming old dead brown stuff, raking said stuff off, resetting path stones, re-seeding the lawn where the plow had scalped the sod, yanking out old corn stalks, generally touching dirt, and admiring my garlic plants. I have 35 of them.  That's an entire year's supply.  Total value = approximately $70.00.  It took me about an hour to plant them last fall, which means that for one hour per year I make a nice wage.  For the rest of the time I guess I'm just a sucker.  Oh well.  

If you start gardening "too early" in the spring, your neighbors will definitely be unable to resist making some sort of silly comment about the prematurity of your toil.  They'll say things like, "It's kinda early, bub," or "Looks like you got a case of spring fever!"  Those neighbors should be handled with polite disdain.  If you feel like responding, you should say something like, "Yeah, it's definitely a little early."  Then you should put your head back down and say, "Have a nice day."  After many years of gardening, I've learned that it's no use to engage these sorts of people in conversations about spring crops.  There's no point.  They have tomatoes and cucumbers in their minds, and to them, tomatoes and cucumbers are gardening.  If you start talking about mustard greens, they will look at you like you just told them that you just dropped a shitload of LSD.  It's simply better to entertain their ignorance and play the buffoon who is still wet behind the ears.  

I'd say more about this, but I gotta fetch some dinner.  Tomorrow I buy mulch.  

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