Thursday, March 4, 2010

Heinz Beans on Toast

When I lived in England, I ate beans on toast.  So did everybody else.  I mean, the English love beans on toast.  It's probably the most popular vegetarian breakfast in England.  It's cheap and easy and so English, and when you leave England, you leave behind Heinz Beans on toast.  It's pretty sad.

The American version of beans that Heinz sells stinks.  They have molasses and other junk in them.  I think they're supposed to be reminiscent of pork and beans or baked beans.  Whatever the case is, they are nothing like the English beans, and the English beans are the best in the world.

I found these proper, English beans in the international aisle at Big Y.  I found them by the salad cream.  Salad cream is a gross mayonnaise-based salad substance that resembles thick cum.  I don't recommend it.  These beans, on the other hand, are quite delicious.  I had them on a white baguette that I sliced on the bias, toasted and buttered.  That's all you really do.

You also heat them up.  As I was heating up these beans this morning, morning being noon, I said to them, "Heat up my beanie babies," and then I remembered the time when my mom got way into Beanie Babies.  She got into them hard-core.  She probably started with the cheaper ones, but her addiction deepened, and she started picking up the top-shelf Beanie Babies.  I have no idea what drove her to this, but I do remember worrying that something was not right about Mom.  It was not like her.  I think she bought the Stars n Stripes Beanie Baby.  To top it all off, my sister got a job working for Ty, the Beanie Baby company.  She wrote the little poems that would appear on their tags.  I think she even met Ty himself.  I don't know.  Point is, this has nothing to do with beans on toast.  It's just something I remembered this morning.